Thursday, October 15, 2015

I Think I'm Low But Can't Prove It

I'm having one of those moments 
when I feel creatively low...

so low that I have to remind myself 
that I am creative on a daily basis
to keep myself from feeling like a loser
(yes I "go there"... no judging)...

I have countless ideas
from small to grand.

I snap photos constantly...

in my head I'm putting them to music 
in some sort of video montage way.
This may sound silly...
it's as if I can hear or sense the whimsy in something
or the mood it emanates just by...being.

very few of those compositions
make it out of my imagination.
They currently... rest in peace.. .on my hard drive...

I can not sit still in the car and
(I'm in a car at least 12 hours, with in a five day work week)
(no wonder)
(living on a boat part-time in the city helps)

in my mind, 
I see so many incredible images 
I want to capture 
and bring them to life somehow,
even if it's to
preserve them as 
two dimensional art.

This is my Picasso doodle.
Proof that I have been productively creative...
and for no good reason (which is the best way)...

I have also started an encaustic piece...
a gift for a friend.

I've titled it...
I Have Knots in My Scalene
(because I do)
(my friend is my massage therapist)
(there is something satisfying about
twisting wire around rocks)

I have jumped in
on a life drawing class each Friday morning...

Even though I believe I am rusty and
my scale and foreshortening are out of whack...

I get to start the morning drawing the human figure...
something I miss from being a student.
I chose straight up micron pens.
Their permanency forces me to stick with it and
finish the job without too much
(and I tossed in a nifty water brush for some pizazz)
(and of course the doodle part)

Oh yes... and when I rake autumn leaves
(or attempt to)
I wear a blue tutu and twirl.
(no leaves have been raked to me)

Gathering these last few weeks 
of creative efforts into one spot
(this one)
helps me realize
I have no valid reason to feel creatively
L O W.

I'm on a pretty good roll actually.
Tutu & all.

As I was typing this I was baking an apple pie.
I forgot to make enough crust to cover the top.
About 15 minutes in the oven I realized this.
I threw together 
a granola, brown sugar crumble 
as a quick fix.
(I'm pretty sure this carries creativity points)
music to twirl to...
slowly, passionately twirl...